Just Found out my daughter
I put up a high-voltage electric fence around my property over the weekend. My neighbour is dead against it.
What do Alexander the great and winnie the pooh have in common? Same middle name.
Went for an interview at a Blacksmiths Blacksmith: "Are you any good at shoeing horses?" I said: "No but I once told a Donkey to fuck off"
My Son’s Maths Teacher
Today, I saw someone waving and I wasn't sure whether they were waving at me or at someone behind me. In other news, I was fired from my lifeguard job.
Son: "Dad, I want to be in politics when I grow up." .......
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.