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Today, I saw someone waving

Today, I saw someone waving and I wasn't sure whether they were waving at me or at someone behind me. In other news, I was fired from my lifeguard job.

I just found out

I just found out that "Aaarghh" is not a real word. I can't express how angry that makes me.

My wife told me

My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage. I take that as a compliment...

I was having a kiss

I was having a kiss and a cuddle with the missus on the sofa when she seductively said 'shall we take this upstrairs?...'

Received a text from the wife

Received a text from the wife saying she was breaking up with me. Imagine how relieved i was when a couple of minutes later she texted 'sorry wrong number'.

My mates pet snake

My mates pet snake got into my freezer last night. I don't know how to tell him, I reckon I'll have to give it to him straight.

I just read an article on Facebook

I just read an article on Facebook about the dangers of drinking and what it does to your body and not gonna lie it freaked me out, so that's it! After today, no more reading

I used to hate my job

I used to hate my job standing on one corner of the room, blowing air at people. Now i'm a big fan.

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