I’ve named my puppies Timex and Rolex. They’re watch dogs.
My neighbour really annoyed me yesterday by playing the same Lionel Richie song over and over again. It was all night long.
My dad was bragging about his new hearing aid. “State of the Art,” he said, “It cost me a fortune.” I asked: “Awesome what type is it?” He said: “Two thirty.”
Harry Potter can’t tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate. They’re both cauldron
Yesterday, a beautiful girl asked me if i wanted to watch a film. She said, “What would you like to see?”